From coworkers:

• "I'm taking pay without leave." "You mean... working?"
• Are you going to play it by ear or wait and see?
• I'm not wearing a sarong!
• SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!!! (instead of metastatic)
• "Did the glioblastoma (a brain cancer) begin in the brain?"
• "How do you usually get your drugs?"
• "When I told you what I can do through our service, patches were not part of that list, were they?"
• "I want to help you, sir. But are you needing protection from the police or do you have questions about cancer?"
• "No I can not transfer you to someone whose voice you like better."
• "Hello? Mr. Bejeezus?"
• "I can hear my voice speaking to me. Can you hear it?"
• "Cancer cells are like dandelions, they break off and spread or metastasize all over your body. That's why you need chemotherapy. It's like weed-killer for the cancer."
• "No, sir, it would not be appropriate for you to lock your mother in the basement to keep her from smoking!”

From Callers:

• "Sometimes I'm a little clairvoyant and I didn't have any weird vibes, so I'm sure the biopsy results will be fine."