• Highdrate - a THC infused water where H2O meets 420
• Potzarella Stickers - Chinese Italian fusion. Pot stickers filled with mozzarella
• Cathlete - multipurpose term: athletic cats; Catholic athletes; catheters for athletes
• ”On the spectrum” should be reserved for LGBTQ+ neurodivergents
• Fresh to your family from Juul
• 9/11 is the new Friday the 13th
• Snapchat for farts
  • No micro transactions
  • We’re just here for the art and the farts
• A wedding entirely inspired by I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - see ancillary list
• There’s no such thing as wild birds, they’re just people’s free-range pets
• Exposure Therabee - specially trained therapy bee to help me over come my phobia. Insurance does not cover this.
• Uncut Gems but with the Duolingo owl and Lingot gems
• Wes Anderson eyeshadow palettes (I actually want this tho??)
• Hamtrak - train service for pigs
• Mapple - what Apple SHOULD have called their maps
• Benmo - it’s Venmo for my friend Ben
• Alexapro - let Amazon cure your depression
• Gumbo but the meat is Gumby and Dumbo
• Dumbbelldore - bodybuilder Dumbledore
• DILFiger - Tommy Hilfiger's foray into paternity clothing
• Ammozon - Amazon but for guns
• shrektangle - a rectangle with Shrek ears on the corners
• Pap smear - a paprika based dry rub for meats
• Porchids - flowers with ham petals
• Cthulu - somehow combining Cthulhu and Hulu. Details forthcoming.
• Zeusk - the dating app for ancient Greeks. Cheat on your wife and fuck everything in existence!
• Distain - a dry cleaning business where everyone hates doing their job. Tagline: We'll clean your clothes, but we're not gonna like it
• U2D2 - some combination of Bono and R2D2
• Homewreckers - a home demolition company BY gold diggers FOR gold diggers
• Lightning black holes - literally just black holes that hit in the form of lightning strikes?
• PHOtography - niche area of photography that only specializes in taking pics of pho
• Nothin' But Net Neutrality - NBA teams hold a free throw marathon protest to fight for net neutrality
• Chicken McButthole - an exhausted man just farts out chicken nuggets for you
• Dating Against Humanity - cards against humanity and tinder combine to match you with equally horrible people
• Tim and Eric Deathbed Musical - the horrible starbucks musician lying in his deathbead singing a song while T&E look on smiling. He dies and his glowing soul flies away, T&E give him a lil kiss goodbye
• AstronoME - self discovery through the stars #weareallstarstuff
• Nostradumbass - terrible prophet with predictions like "Somebody's birthday's comin' up"
• Chorizo May - Theresa May in a sausage suit
• Al Gore Rhythms - math-themed hip hop album by Al Gore
• Munchausen's - psychological disorder themed restaurant
  • signature dish: 'scuits-ophrenia (sampler platter of biscuits & gravy)
• Vestboro Baptist Church - we all wear vests and march around with picket signs that say "GOD HATES SLEEVES"
• The Naughty Toddler - fun cocktail. Get new mother drunk on drink of choice, harvest alcohol-contaminated breast milk, serve on the rocks
• Starby's - Starbucks and Arby's join forces
• Longerie - lingerie/long underwear combo. Cold outside but hot in the bedroom? Try Longerie today.
• r/popping - Lil Mama’s sub to promote her hit single “Lipgloss” but it devolves into pimple popping content

drunk terrible ideas

• Arranged dog marriages
• Billy Maysison
• cash in on my cashew
• so wrong But so right
• cat astrology

stoned terrible ideas

• sound = force x velocity