my deep dark secret is that roseanne is my favorite television show of all time. i could (and do) watch each episode over and over again. this list is a small taste of why.

• is this the sink? am i shrinking? (jackie on weed)
• i got some bad news... dad isn't with us anymore. i said dad has passed away. he's passed away! dad is gone. dad's dead! he's dead! no... DEAD!... DAD! ...no, he's fine, he sends his love! (jackie telling her deaf aunt about her father's death)
• i have a three day old child inside of me! (jackie regarding her overdue pregnancy)
• oh dan, but you just fixed dinner three years ago! (roseanne complaining that she does to much around the house)
• well have another shot of pancake, roseanne! (jackie regarding roseanne's comments about addiction)