FEBRUARY;

• ⍁ drink more water (12/28)
• ✗ exercise at least 3 times a week (0/12)
• ⍁ get up to have breakfast before classes (16/18)
• ✗ don't hit snooze more than one time (1/28)
• ✗ find a morning/night routine that serves me
• ✗ additionally, find a skin care routine

total: 16.66%

observations: CATASTROPHIC FAILURE. god. i think i need to change my focus.

—— j o u r n a l

• mon | 01 ✧ reading about albinism; trying to make my characters more complex.
• tue | 02 ✧ classes started & i slept bad, but it was a pretty chill day, i love these two profs; cleaned my room a bit & organized notes on past subjects.
• wed | 03 ✧ slept bad part. 2; "i'm gonna be more positive & have quiet, mindful mornings! {gets annoyed by the slightest thing} {gets annoyed by the usual crimes of kesha}"; microbiology prof took three hours to explain how we're going to work?? THREE HOURS??? is he an earth sign??
• thu | 04 ✧ i got?? a dazai on mayoi?? i'm shook??; had just a few hours of classes today, thankfully. i saw a spoiler of the manga of ynm and i am S C R E A M I N G.
• fri | 05 ✧ classes were cancelled. felt extremely sad; i wish i could know what's wrong with me. did some homework. why am i still waking up at six?? i don't need to get up so early, put yourself together, damn body.
• sat | 06 ✧ woke up at 5:30, why. forced myself to sleep again, got up at 12. wasted almost all day scrolling through internet in bed.
• sun | 07 ✧ finally woke up at the decent hour of 8. very bad mood, almost cried two times. tormenting myself mentally.
• mon | 08 ✧ every day i'm more irritated & aggressive, almost anything can make me feel extremely repulsed; i don't know what to do to stop feeling like this. i've spent hours searching something for a simple homework and i'm super annoyed, why do i stress myself so much for simple tasks like this one.
• tue | 09 ✧ you know it's getting bad when the wan episode leaves you feeling just "eh" (why can't i enjoy skk anymore...); stomachache. feeling bad, both emotionally & physically.
• wed | 10 ✧ i'm feeling better & now i'm like "wtf was happening to me, lol". stayed on my pajamas all day. microbiology class almost killed me out of boredom, internet was awful.
• thu | 11 ✧ woke up at 5, again, but now i'm thinking about using that on my favor. it's the 7th day of uni & i'm already drowning in assignments. too tired to watch anime or read, fuck having 7 hours of classes in a row.
• fri | 12 ✧ had a call with the girls, it was really nice. also, chapter 6 of praeter no kizu had a scene so damn funny, i'm actually enjoying it more than i expected?
• sat | 13 ✧ today's sk8 episode was so good... & not heterosexual; i love them. homework, homework.
• sun | 14 ✧ more homework & i didn't actually got anything done because i just revised information, ugh.
• mon | 15 ✧ same as yesterday?? why is this my life as a college student. i wanted to party.
• tue | 16 ✧ finished that work, at least. why does it take me so long!! it's the same as last semester!! tomorrow is nate's birthday & i'm finally going to contact him again... i hope nothing bad happened during this time. i'm a bit worried.
• wed | 17 ✧ it's still a bit weird talking to him again but we're working on it, at least everything was okay in his life.
• thu | 18 ✧ it took me ALL day to finish this damn essay... i couldn't advance the rest of the work i have & i didn't even like the result. jesus christ; a classmate left the mic on in class & that caused the FUNNIEST shit that has ever happened in a class.
• fri | 19 ✧ i'm a fucking idiot that let work pile up & now i'm paying the consequences. i starved just to finish that essay & the infographics & i did the most mediocre work ever, i'm ashamed of myself; on a bright note, i got a fyodor on mayoi!! finally!!
• sat | 20 ✧ i am. absolutely destroyed. slept until noon. haven't watched anime in three days but too tired. played bsd mayoi all afternoon instead.
• sun | 21 ✧ 'YOU AND I AREN'T A GOOD MATCH ANYMORE'. i'm DESTROYED, i'm absolutely, emotionally devastated.
• mon | 22 ✧ 'cleaning' my room; or rather, trying make it look like i cleaned for a school work, lmao.
• tue | 23 ✧ i'm so fucking SICK of this family; i cried, but honestly i think i needed this breakdown. caught up with all anime. i got haruno on mayoi. <3
• wed | 24 ✧ uhhh... yeah, microbiology prof is definitely scary.
• thu | 25 ✧ THEY REALLY THROW A NEW KUNIKIDA CARD WHEN I HAVE NO MOONS. THEY REALLY DID IT. i'm already on step 4 & i've got four repeated SSR's, FOUR. IN TWO STEPS. KUNIKIDA PLEASE COME HOMEEE.
• fri | 26 ✧ call with the girls was cancelled & we didn't even get any work done with the team, ugh. microbiology class sucks <3 i don't even think i'll pass.
• sat | 27 ✧ "you like that person, right? // well... yeah"; summoning circle for a love confession. still DON'T HAVE THAT KUNIKIDA CARD.
• sun | 28 ✧ evaluating why did i fail so catastrophically in everything this month. searching tips for studying & organizing with adhd or depression, because i don't know what's wrong with me but i'm definitely not neurotypical. i didn't do anything productive this weekend & i know i'm going to regret it later, but! problem for future me. <3