• make a list of the things rummaging my head, now: - why is my pay late? why have not my paycheck arrived, why are they late with the pay for the second month in a row? - how much money will i get payed this month, will it be remotely enough for my planned escapades? - i am hungry, shall i eat? - i really have to finish my book, i am going to write on my book tomorrow, no! now, after ive just done.. -what will my future look like? will i get into the school in n.y.? what is in store? - how long should i stay in haugesund during my winter holiday? - did i make the right desicion to take allmenn and not media? (two and a half year into allmenn i start asking that question, oh yes i am so smart). - when am i going to get my hair cut again? it has been seven months. - what does people say about me when i am not around? - when should i start working on my freelancing "firm"? how long should i wait? and what should be my first story? to which papers and magazines should i send it? how much money should i ask for it? will it at all work out? will i be a good journalist? - will i become a better photographer? - should i go to school tomorrow? i want to, but i do not know... i am not that ill anymore, and i am going bonkers in my flat.. but i have to clean the flat before i get visitors tomorrow. dilemma.
• change the sheets on my bed. i don't know why, i just always end up doing it when i cannot sleep.
• read a book from cover to cover while drinking tea. tonight: extremely loud & incredebly close by jonathan safran foer (who is married to Nicole Krauss!! how adorable isn't that?).
• shower.
• try to sleep.
• jump up and down in despair and anger and think that i will never be able to fall asleep.
• clean my room. again, unknown reason, have just always done it on sleepless nights. even when i was four.
• write on my book. (which deadline is march first. hm... i have to write a lot, maybe i should clean my flat and write tomorrow. i am still contagious. i think.)
• write a letter.
• put on a randome gilmore girls dvd and then fall asleep in the middle of the first episode, at around 7.00 am. fourtyfive minutes before my alarm goes off. brilliant.

i am going to do this now. i hate not being able to sleep. fuck insomnia!