- Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 
- Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 
- When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 
- Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 
- Don’t dumb it down. 
- You only get one chance to notice a new haircut. 
- If you’re staying more than one night, unpack. 
- Never park in front of a bar. 
- A suntan is earned, not bought. 
- Never lie to your doctor. 
- All guns are loaded. 
- Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 
- The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once. 
- Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year. 
- Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good. 
- A handshake beats an autograph. 
- Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out. 
- If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature. 
- Never get your hair cut the day of a special event. 
- Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets. 
- Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it. 
- When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends. 
- Eat lunch with the new kids. 
- When travelling, keep your wits about you. 
- It’s never too late for an apology. 
- Don’t pose with booze. 
- If you have the right of way, take it. 
- You don’t get to choose your own nickname. 
- When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family. 
- Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant. 
- It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it. 
- Don’t make a scene. 
- When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best. 
- Know when to ignore the camera. 
- Never gloat. 
- Invest in good luggage. 
- Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too. 
- When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser. 
- Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp. 
- Give credit. Take blame. 
- Suck it up every now and again. 
- Never be the last one in the pool. 
- Don’t stare. 
- Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once. 
- If you’ve made your point, stop talking. 
- Admit it when you’re wrong. 
- If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done. 
- Look people in the eye when you thank them. 
- Thank the bus driver. 
- Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes. 
- Know at least one good joke. 
- Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son. 
- Know how to cook one good meal. 
- Learn to drive a stick shift. 
- Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime. 
- It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself. 
- Dance with your mother/father. 
- Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work. 
- Always thank the host. 
- If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late. 
- Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes. 
- There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt. 
- Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. 
- Keep your word. 
- In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. 
- Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months. 
- Don’t be the talker in a movie. 
- You are what you do, not what you say. 
- Learn to change a tire. 
- Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them. 
- An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it. 
- Don’t litter. 
- You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest. 
- Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm. 
- Make the little things count. 
- Always wear a bra at work. 
- There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it. 
- You’re never too old to need your mom. 
- Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill. 
- Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone. 
- Smile at strangers. 
- Make goals. 
- Being old is not dictated by your bedtime. 
- If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard. 
         jul 22 2014 ∞
 jul 22 2014 +