• "they should name a constellation in the heavens after leonel messi...he actually puts negative spin on the ball"
• "excuse me for being excited, but we just witnessed a goal that would wake up a catatonic"
• "his biorhythms are oscillating"
• "he could find the needle in the haystack by his sense of smell"
• "they tell me all men are equal in god's eyes. this player makes you seriously think about those words"
• "he could follow you through a revolving door and still come out first"

not about messi

• "iker casillas does everything he can, spreadin himself like a big yellow octopus"

"Real madrid's defense stretched out like spandex on Miami beach