- Spongebob: Hey Patrick, are you mad too? Patrick: Yeah! Spongebob: "Why?" Patrick: "I CAN'T SEE MY FOREHEAD."
- "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology: the study of wumbo... Come on, Spongebob, this is first grade!"
- "The inner mechanations of my mind are an enigma."
- "I'll have you know, I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 20 minutes."
- Mrs. Krabs: "Eugene! What are you doing with my bloomers?!" Mr. Krabs: "Why didn't you tell me we were at me mother's house??" Spongebob: "Well, why didn't you ask?"
- Old man: "I can't decide what to order!" Squidward: "You already ordered." Old man: "Don't rush me, young lady!"
- "A poem by Patrick Star: Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom." *eats paper*
- Patrick: "Are you Squidward?" Random Guy: "No." *A few seconds later* Patrick: "Are you Squidward now?"
- Squidward: "I'm claustrophobic!" Patrick: "What does that mean?" Spongebob: "It means, he's afraid of Santa Claus!" Patrick: "HO HO HO!" Spongebob: "Stop it Patrick, you're scaring him!!!"
- Patrick: "Let's get naked!" Spongebob: "No, lets save that for when we're selling real estate."
- Customer, on phone: "Is this the Krusty Krab?" Patrick: "No, this is Patrick."
- Mr. Krabs: "I said 200 paces East!" Patrick: "Ohhh, East? I thought you said WEAST!" Mr. Krabs: "That's West, Patrick."
- Patrick: "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Squidward: "No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. *Patrick raises his hand* Horse radish is not an instrument either."
- Spongebob: *to Mystery* JUST GET OUT OF HERE, YOU DUMB STUPID ANIMAL!! *Patrick walks up with a board nailed to his forehead, thinks Spongebob is talking to him and walks away*
- Sandy: Spongebob! It'll hurt less if you land on your bottom! Spongebob: Like this? Patrick: No, your other bottom! Sandy: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? Patrick: Not until 4.
- Sandy rips off her air suit, standing in her bikini Mr. Krabs: "Neptune preserve her!" Squidward: "How long can she stay like that?!" Spongebob: "I don't know!" Patrick: "Sandy's a girl?"
- Random kid skipping down the street: "I had 4 biscuits... Then I ate one. Now I only have three!"
- Mrs. Puff: And here is our new student! What is your name, young man? Patrick: Uh.... uh.... uh...TWENTY FOUR! *later* Spongebob: "Pssst... Patrick... I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick: "Let me hear it." Spongebob: "...25." *uncontrollable giggles*
- Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired. Patrick: But I don't work here. Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? Patrick: Boy, would I! Mr. Krabs: *puts a uniform hat on Patrick and then takes it off* You're fired.
dec 23 2011 ∞
oct 15 2016 +