• Name, please.

John Karel Van Vynck III

• Approximate Age?

19 years, 3 months and 7 days

• Are you happy in your life?

Yeparoonie

• Do you feel like anything is missing? If so, what do you want?

Yes, my baby, our house, and our behbehs.

• Do you plan on being a musician/artist/writer?

No, but it would be so cool to be a musician.

• Do you think you are artistic?

Not at all, unfortunately

• Have you ever tried hard drugs?

Nope

• If so, have they changed your life?

Nope

• What age would you like to die?

207

• Are you an angry person?

Nope, anger is silly

• Do you laugh a lot, but don’t really mean it?

No! I laugh every day at nearly everything for every reason!

• Do you like to think you are popular?

No, because I am not and I don't have the desire to be exceptionally popular

• Describe your most terrifying dream.

Too long. However it involves John D'Auria and I in a dark open space and the injection of green slime into wormholes

• What band would you die to see live?

HRVRD, This Town Needs Guns, or Miniature Tigers

• How would you like to die?

Peacefully, layin' next to my baby

• What’s your opinion on self-mutilation?

I didn't know that was a thing to have an opinion on

• Do you believe in capitalism?

Not sure what capitalism is

• Communism?

I wish it worked

• Libertarianism?

Not sure what that is either

• Would you rather be an anarchist or a socialite?

An anarchist because...why not?

• Freedom of speech or controlled society?

Freedom!

• Obama or Bush?

Brobama 2016

• Would you consider yourself intelligent?

Mildly

• When was the last time you cried?

Sometime with beans, not sure

• When was the last time you laughed?

Like 3 minutes ago

• Who is your last text from?

Anna Cutaia

• What did it say?

"I'm reaxy"

• Ever had your ass kicked?

Fortunately no!

• What’s your middle name?

Karel

• Single or taken?

Taken all the way to Chinatown

• If taken, do you love this person?

Of course! I love her with all I am.

• If single, what are you looking for in someone?

My beans

• Sex or love?

Equal portions of either!

• Who is your best friend?

Probably Phil, but otherwise Annabe3ans

• Why is this person your best friend?

Because she is perfect and my wife!

• Are you moody?

Nope! I know someone who is though...;)

• Are you depressed?

Nopearoonie

• What do you think of abortion?

Only in cases of rape/incest

• Are you in a good mood today?

Yes, even for having a tooth pulled I'm pretty swell

• If not, why are you not?

Oh, but I am good sir!

• Are you afraid of the swine flu?

Not anymore!

• Are you afraid to be yourself?

I couldn't be anyone else

• What would you label yourself?

A chump

• Do you live with your parents?

Currently, but I will be returning to school soon enough

• How many siblings do you have?

Ein schtischter

• Do you wear skinny jeans?

They are the only ones that fit

• Are you emo?

Nope

• Are you aware that all emo kids look exactly the same?

Yessir

• Are you a hater?

Yes because I fucking hate that term

• Are you anti-racist?

Yes, save for them icky indians

• Explain your personality in 3 words.

Cooky, silly, goofy

• What do you wish your name was?

Prince Henry of the Netherlands

• How old do you want to be when you get married?

25

• What do you want to name your kids?

The boy shall be called John Karl Van Vynck The girl shall be called Arabella Sofia Van Vynck The other boy, should circumstances allow, shall be called Harry Potter Van Vynck

• What kind of hairstyle do you want?

The best kind

• When was the last time you brushed your teeth?

This morning

• What are you wearing right now?

My expensive blue plaid pajama pants and a grey shirt

• Say something random.

Figglewhatzit

• What do you wear to bed?

See #58

• What color is your underwear?

Grey

• Am I getting too personal?

Nope

• What’s your view on nihilism?

Anything Neitzsche likes I like

• Pacifism?

I'd like to consider myself a pacifist, thought perhaps it is because I have yet to encounter a fight

• Do you think the drug culture is misunderstood?

No, down with the cartel

• Are you a fan of Hunter S Thompson?

I literally could not care less about who that is. Like literally I'm not even going to look it up because I give so few fucks

• Do you read literature?

Litrachure, why yes I do

• Do you love horror movies?

I do thanks to my chub!

• What’s your favourite one?

Probably the conjuring

• Do you like comedies?

Love 'em

• Are you a smoker?

Nopearoonie

• Do you smoke cigars/cigarillos?

Nopearoonie

• Do you have anger problems?

Nopearoonie

• Do you know someone who has a mental illness?

Anna's mum and her gramps are both bipolar

• Have you had someone close to you die of cancer?

Nope, thank the lawd

• What do you want to be next Halloween?

A mafioso

• What grade are you in?

13th

• When do you graduate?

Sometime in May of 2017

• Do you talk to yourself?

All day everyday

• What color are your toenails?

Flesh colored..?

• Has anyone ever told you you have a nice smile?

Yes actually!

• Nice eyes?

Yes!

• Ever broken a bone?

Nope, I sprained my ankle when I was a young'n

• Got a black eye?

Nopearoonie

• Nose bleed?

Not that I can remember

• Ever been so mad you cried?

Nopearoonie

• What’s your favourite quote?

"And on the pedestal these words appear: `My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'"

• Are you listening to anything right now?

The sound of Beans typing and myself hum

• What are you addicted too?

Junk food and playing musica

• Do you like silver hair?

It fits some people, yes

• Would you ever fight a famous boxer?

If they were knocked out

• Could you take on kimbo slice?

Dunno who that is

• Can you even fist fight?

Not sure, my skills remain untested

• Do you work out?

Occasionally

• Are you in good physical condition?

Not really

• Do you get creeped out by puppets?

If they're creepy!

• If you could be any celebrity by one day, who would you be?

Morgan Freeman

• Do you have any phobias?

Spiders, dying

• Ever been mauled by a wild animal?

No, however I plan to be soon

• Do you think you could be a Suicide Girl?

Well I'm not a girl

• What about a playboy bunny?

Absolutely.

• Are you an insomniac?

Nope! Love them sleps

• Do you take birth control?

Only every day

• Are these questions pointless?

Yes, I'm not a female

• Favourite color?

Royal blue