╾ 25th

it feels like i’m living it all again. its like a circle. i dont know how to get out of it and to be honest i dont know if i want to.

yesterday (just like everyday) i was thinking about you and a lot of things i want to write. i dont write for you that much anymore but deep down i hope you can hear me. every time e talk to you, every time i think about you, i hope you can hear me. you’re always on my mind.

my boyfriend told me i should face the things that brings me down (something like that) and now that i think about it... i dont know why honestly i dont know what happened but i cant. i cant hear your songs or write for you or think about you that much. i’m scared, maybe. i’m still in denial and i feel like now more than ever. i cant believe its been a year. as i said, it feels like i’m living it all again.

i miss you so much. i dont know what else to say or what else i can do.

i just love and miss you so much, i wish things could be different. i still think about how unfair this is. how you’re special and amazing and awesome.

it hurts so much.

please hold my hand, jongie.

please forgive me.