╾ 2nd

i cant imagine and i dont even want to imagine how much you were suffering. because i'm in so much pain i can barely breath and yet i'm here. in fact it doesnt really matter how much we're suffering. more or less than others, its still pain and its still horrible to endure. i'm still hare maybe because my pain is weaker than yours or because i'm too coward, but it still dont matter. it is what it is, people feel and deal with it differently. you're gone and i'm here, wanting to be gone.

i didnt knew i loved you that much. in that day, that horrible day, when my aunt asked me who was my fav in shinee, i told it was you without even thinking. and oh... now i see. i see all this love and i see how much of it i've been wasting.

everyday i'm sorry, everyday i regret it.

and today too, i miss you again.

i wanna make a lot of things to you, since i'm too coward to go, i at least wanna live just to love you and remember you and write for you and do whatever i can for you. i dont wanna forget and i dont wanna let go. its pointless because now you're gone and theres nothing i can do about it, but maybe you'll see and maybe you'll finally feel loved even from so far.