╾ 28th

hi... its been a couple of days since i last wrote you right? its weekend so i think thats why. i got to distract myself and some things happened, i played with "friends", i'm doing well...

the things is: i dont dare to day that i'm okay. i came to know my feelings and i know its just temporary. as soon as i'm alone again, as soon as i hear you or see you.. i'll break down again, i'll be sad and miserable again. its like i need to be distracted 24/7.

but to be honest? i got used to it. to the dark, to the sadness. is it weird? i dont wanna be okay, i dont wanna feel good. deep down i know that being able to live normally again doesnt mean i forgot, i understood, i accepted, it doesnt mean i'm completely recovered. i'll never be the same again and the space you left, the hole in my heart will be there forever. but it is what it is.

i miss you. i keep missing you and its so hard. its hard feeling this hole and that space and i keep feeling your absence and it hurts me deep inside, it hurts me everyday.