╾ 28th

it sucks being here jongie everything hurts literally anything hurts i cant take it i just wanna be gone for good.

i cried again at work i just cant stand myself anymore. when i got off i was honestly willing to throw myself in front of any car but then i thought... again, the same thought as the day i was at the metro station waiting for my sister... isnt any strangers fault. i mean okay i’m throwing myself in front of a car but the person driving it has no fault at all and they’d get in trouble they’d be terrified they’d maybe remember it forever in a bad bad way so... if i wanna do it i have to do it by my own and thats it.

i dont want this month to end. i dont want to go through another month without you and i dont wanna go through another month still living.. waking up going to sleep..

i dont want to.