╾ 30th

you know... yesterday i read something that kinda makes sense. a shawol was saying something like "its sad bc (i want to believe) people tried to help him and he still wanted to leave", bc a friend of your was saying she noticed your struggles and tried to be there for you. at first i havent thought much.

but now i see. i mean, i feel that. theres a few people telling me i shouldnt go, i make a difference and bla bla, a few people telling me i am different and special, but it just wont help me. i cant see it that way, i cant see why i'm still here, i cant see the difference i make and i'm really sorry for those few people who tries to "help" me but it just wont work.

maybe it was like that with you too?

its all too hopelessly so it doenst matter anyway...

i keep blaming people and being angry but maybe you werent all alone after all, you just couldnt see. of course people helps, i mean, you couldnt be depressed for nothing. your letter said that too.