╾ 9th

i miss you. i dont know what else to say. everyday i think of you and everyday i miss but i just dont know what to say anymore. i feel like i’ve said it all and i still the same so theres no news...

the only thing is that something happened. something close to a dream of mine that makes me want to live at least till august. i’m scared of dying right now. i want this so bad... i hope i can get it. of course it has to do with idols. people that dont even know me but they gave me this sort of will to live for a little bit more.

its monsta x and i wanna see them. i need to see them. sometimes now i look at the sky and i say “i still want to but not now... just a little more, dont take me yet”.

i hope you can see me and hear me. not only when i talk to you out loud but when i look at the sky, when i just contemplate, when i think about you. please. know that i’m here thinking about you all the time.