╾ 28th

ROO HAS BEEN FOUND!!!! AAAAA i really REALLY wanted to tell you that!! although you may know it already bUT SHE'S BEEN FOUND!! i saw the video and she's well and happy!!! i'm so relieved honestly!!

well anyway.. i was taking a shower and i dont really know why but i always think about these texts and thats why i always forget, i cant write while in shows, hum. i was at a funeral an hour ago and, ugh, i hate it. i hate it so so much and now its even worse because i cant help but think about you and then i feel guilty. i was almost crying but it wasnt for the man who just died, i was because i kept thinking about you... and also... i know its hard. i know it kills us missing someone so much and i know his wife and son will suffer. its so empty. its so terrible.

apart from that, shinee made their comeback today with the mv. obviously i've been away because i'm not fucking ready for anything and i wasnt even thinking but then my friend send the mv to our whatsapp group and i remembered... it hit me. they came back as four. just the four of them. without you because you're not here anymore. its the worst thing when it hits me like that. i mean, i keep missing you and i look at the sky and the moon and i think about you and talk to you but in situations like that i really hits me. like.. you're really gone. its strange because at the same time that it hits me i still cant process it? i cant comprehend it and just cant accept it yet. its not all reality for me and it sucks so much i cant adapt.

also, the moon is so pretty today. so bright... you look beautiful as always, baby. i love you and i love you and i love you.