• to call you a friend would be a disservice - you're a sister in spirit and heart
  • we met in kindergarten and it was an instant friendship, sparked by such similar spirits
  • every adult in our life saw it, we were just so alike in so many ways and we went about in the world in the same way
  • we were part of miss jane's favorite three and we had nicknames - i was poppinfresh because my tummy showed when i lifted my arms and you were peanut because your head was shaped like a peanut
  • our families were very different in a lot of ways, but similar in that our moms were single and chaotic and we felt the need to be more grown up than we actually were
  • despite things growing to be very different in our home lives, (your little brothers being born and mom getting married, etc.) we just grew closer and closer
  • one of my fondest memories of childhood is the way we would sleep when we would have sleepovers and i've never done it with anyone else - we would face each other and curl our bodies towards each other and our little fists would be up by our chins, touching, with our faces inches away from each other
  • in fourth grade, my mom would drop me off at your house in the morning and i would let myself in to a dark and silent house, plod to your room and wake you up (you were hardly ever up on your own) and while you were getting ready, i would toast us some toaster strudels and wrap them up in paper towels
  • sometimes, you would say 'lets just sleep for a little bit' instead of getting up and so i would drop my backpack and climb into bed with you, fully dressed, and we would fall back asleep until your alarm would wake us up twenty minutes later then we would walk to school together, locking the door behind us and eating our toaster strudels on the way
  • i know now that was way too much independence for nine year olds, but i still cherish that i didn't have to be independent alone and that your sweet heart was walking to school with me every morning
  • people would joke that we were so close we were like the same person and sometimes your mom would hit you and i would jump and wince and say 'ow' and she would laugh and say 'you guys are too close'
  • we would play dolls and house and we would always make up names and jobs and have daughters and i think you were the only one i ever played like that with
  • in fifth grade, we both started changing - you got prettier and more interested in being cool and i got depressed and chubby
  • you started not talking to me and even making fun of me and laughing at me with alyssa, and i was hurt, but i still loved you
  • i'll never forget the morning that i had just walked on to campus and was walking to class and i heard a desperate call for my name
  • i turned around and you were in sobbing tears, walking toward me with your arms out for a hug
  • you had gotten hit in the head by a basketball and immediately looked around and saw me and started coming towards me- you reached me and rested your head on my shoulder, sobbing onto my shirt
  • i looked past you to see alyssa, looking at me with disdain, and she told me what happened

i asked you if you wanted to go the office and you said yes, alyssa said she would take you but you immediately protested and grabbed my hand and said 'no, please, will you take me?'

  • and i did, i held your hand and walked you up to the office and told ms. betty what happened and then went back to class
  • you gave me a birthday card that year and you signed it corcor and you told me how much you loved me and that you were sorry that you were ever mean to me
  • you still didn't talk to me much, but i knew you loved me like i loved you and that's all that mattered to me (i wish i still had that card)
  • we saw each other at target in the middle of high school and my mom marveled at how it only took a few minutes for us to be laughing like we were five again and how it just seemed like we were family
  • i miss you a lot and i wish that we could be friends again now, but our lives are so different and to be honest, you are so much prettier and cooler than i am
  • just like m, i know that our spirits are the same and it comforts me to know i am not alone in my softness
  • i will always love you and have nothing but fond memories of you
may 13 2020 ∞
may 13 2020 +