- "Do you always think this much, Charlie?" / "Is that bad?" I just wanted someone to tell me the truth. / "Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life."
- Then, I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under the pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.
- And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
- I just think it's bad when a boy looks at a girl and things that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is.
- I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. If this gets any worse, I might have to go back to the doctor. It's getting that bad again.
- That scared me a lot. It scared me how much it scared me.
- "I would die for you. But I won't live for you."
- And nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia.
- "It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am."
- I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. Just like what my sister said when I had been in the hospital for a while. She said that she was really worried about going to college, and considering what I was going through, she felt really dumb about it. But I don't know why she would feel dumb. I'd be worried. too. And really, I don't think I have it any better or worse than she does. I don't know. It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam said. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them.
mar 16 2012 ∞
oct 7 2012 +
oct 7 2012 +