When taking a beast for a walk there are special procedures that need to be completed to insure the safety for you and children and other living beings.

• Prepare walkie talkies for when you take the beast into an open field incase it chews free from the chains and runs amuck around the field. Then you can lead a military attack with the help of your friendly neighborhood to get the beast back into your clutches.
• Incase one may need a quick distraction that will keep the beast from ripping out your throat, bring a suitcase full of steaks.
• Once you’ve finally got your beast back on it’s leash and you have prepared to walk home, check for any signs of life walking nearby and wait until the living has passed so your beast can’t snack on their limbs.
• Now you can begin your way home being thrown and dragged most of the way. When you are run into a fence or a giant bush, do not continue screaming or crying because no one is around to help you.
• And lastly, if you are feeding your beast superberb dinners (that include lamb, vegetables and pasta) and your stuck eating 3 month old lasagna TV dinners, it’s time to kill yourself.

I’m glad my beast isn’t hostile.