• Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
• Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
• how do the skittle company people know what a rainbow tastes like?
• Can you cry under water?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

• mobile - although normally in back pocket
• tobacco - think it gets took by my wee bro
• money - again Adam
• socks
• keys
• clothes i buy
• lighter - my granny takes em

GOD there so many!

• being on trampoline wit lex full.
• drinking under subway, police came up.
• getting hammered an not even being able to walk. still av da scars.
• Northwest 2010 wasnt good lol
• karaoke in blackthorn (watchin lex sing)
• mad house partys
• slabbering to my mum an sis 4 no reason
• trying get in 2 work 4 kebab.
• good times in nite clubs.
• arguing wit da skank
• getting drink in my eyes u actually go blind!

• the only drama was wen some1 stole ur crayons.
• a different bf everyday
• birthday party's
• spending all day climbing trees
• could eat anything an not get fat
• was so innocent
• the holidays in a caravan
• collectin frogs

• Orlando Bloom - in pirates of the caribbean.
• Johnny Depp - again in pirates
• Ricky Whittle
• Josh Holloway
• Heath Ledger
• Vin Diesel
• Colin Farrell

• Alan Carr
• Micheal McIntyre
• Jimmy Carr
• Jack Dee
• Omid Djalili
• Jo Brand
• Dawn French
• Dara Ó Briain
• Joan Rivers
• Jennifer Saunders

Cant stand Lee Fuckin Evans

• If u do somethin 2 annoy me i can b a bitch!
• I can give out good advice to m8s but cant apply it 2 myself!
• love 2 drink and party
• There no 2nd chance wen comes to guys.
• I will b truthful an honest
• I believe in Karma
• I can say things i dont mean 2 offend u.

• Slow Comfortable Screw
• sex on da beach
• white Russian
• B52
• baby guiness
• dry martini
• fat frog
• slippery nipple
• cheeky monkey

• Madam Lee - fortune teller
• steak nite at spoons
• zumba classes
• visiting b&m bargins
• goin 2 Belfast

• Chinese symbol for dragon on my stomach - da year i was born.
• rose an heart on wrist - i liked design
• rose an thorns on my lower back - love roses
• cross on my neck wit diamond in it - love da design.

will b gettin few more if lex ever designs me some.

• simpsons
• antique roadshow
• last of summer wine
• zap
• dr quinn
• blind date