My friend and I set out to write the perfect college movie. If I remember correctly, our inspiration came from Van Wilder and how absolutely terrible it was. But goddammit if that movie doesn't make a shit ton in royalties from 1 PM weekday Comedy Central broadcasts! My plan is to hustle major movie studios into making art. I'll start with my college movie, and the horny, stupid masses will eat that shit up. Then, I'll make, I don't know, some sort of movie where Kevin James farts and runs into things. Then, after proving myself to be something of a box office wizard who has managed to tap into the zeitgeist of America's youth, I'm given complete creative control over my next film and reinvent American cinema. or something like that i dunno. Guess I could take the money from the first two shitty movies that I made and make the awesome one. anyway. Thanks to Netflix, I was able to round up a bunch of college movies to study as I pen my masterpiece. I hope that by watching these films, I'll be able to find college movie motifs and incorporate them into my screenplay. I thought it would be best to begin my journey with a classic, the granddaddy of college movies: American Pie Presents Beta House. These are the notes I took while watching the movie:

• Pop punk soundtrack
• Sacred book
• Attractive girl you almost see nude
• Disgusting fat people
• Coolest kid in school
• Ass & titties
• Legends of cool kids doing rad shit
• White kids + a token
• Vomit fetish
• Shit acting
• Giggling white women
• Pledges
• NEEERRRDS
• Lesbians!
• Animal montage
• Dick jokes (obviously)
• Girls are stupid and bitchy
• Surreal semen
• MILFS
• Women = tits
• Fear of gays
• Straight guys getting into gay pickles in which they appear to be gay when in fact they are not
• True love subplot: Romantic guy wants to get with a girl with abusive boyfriend that's cheating on her
• Violence is meaningless and hilarious
• Classic film parody
• Showdown