Self assessment

funny I know what is happening here - love weighs too much in life causing self denial that may lead to just another depression, as I already have certain symptoms for a while. I know the solutions but I don't have access to any of them.

Why can I see it so clearly but Be so helpless?

Solution 1: consume chemicals that manipulate brain functions. (Anti-depressants) - no access.

Solution 2: my love loves me back. - impossible. See 4.

Solution 3: prioritize other things before love - takes too much time to change personality

Solution 4: love myself more. - impossible; sadly, for reasons, need others to love me for me to love myself, and deeply convinced that no one will love me due to the combination of my physical features, personality and background.

It's a quick sand. I am stuck and sinking in more and more as I struggle.