It hit me.

You are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. And the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.

You are in my every choice and my every thought. Every little thing that has to do with you can either bring me the greatest joy or the worst anxiety.

I know there's never going to be anything between us. How I fully understand it and how I live abide the belief that no one will ever love me make me wish my heart can stop beating. Any moment now.

It hit me hard. You are my crush as you crush me without knowing.

Every rational decision made to try to let you go bent my heart in all the ways impossible.