4/29

• In the middle of my first night shift at the news station, I had four bottles of coffee, and I almost dozed off. The job is pretty cool though.
• I realized I am very but only nervous about the things that are important to me. Because they are important to me, I care deeply for them. Because I care deeply for them, I worry too much about them, and that's when I mess up. The irony is, I do well on the things I don't care about.
• There are 3 people from Connecticut that I love so much. I wish I can be with them all the time... CB, VH(R), MH.
• I slept for less than an hour since 28 hours ago, let's see how long I can hold on... have to be up for another 5 at least. Interesting experience.

4/27

• Not even officially working yet, I am already exhausted. Monday is going to be a super long day.

4/26

• There are a million things flying through my mind every time I use the word love. When I tell my dearest friends "I love you", my heart stops a little and small explosions go off in the back of my head. From time to time, I would also reconsider whether if the word is properly used, especially since only two of my dearest friends are NOT beautiful girls (guys, that is).
• I am extremely insecure. I am always afraid that what I am and how I feel will scare away the people that I love, but I also wish I am able to share all of it...
• Just had dinner and watched Iron Man 3 with mom. I know as I get older, I will probably have less and less time for her. So I treasure every moment... Iron Man 3 was quite disappointing, though; and I got business calls in the middle of it... bummer.
• I wish I can enjoy "cleavage" and sexy pretty legs more, like other men. I am not saying I don't enjoy it. A lot crosses my mind every time, I think it's attractive, arousing and beautiful, but in the end, I am not sure where to look and somehow my thought always end with "this young lady should put on a jacket" or "that skirt is too short, 80% of her legs is showing!"... like I already have the heart of a father of daughters, even though I've never dated and I am only turning 24.. or is that just the right old-ness? Plus 80% is a little too much isn't it? Maybe I am just not feeling it, Yet.
• I wish all of my best friends can get together can meet each other. It's such a happy scene in my mind.

4/25

• The tremendous emptiness feels like getting off drug, or the energy drink is wearing off. I think I accidentally got addicted to something that I was not supposed to get too close to.
• "I can't please everyone." Really felt it today at work.
• (part-time) Job offer at a news station. Great Opportunity but 11 pm to 8 am shift 4 days a week... I will take it! I only have myself to lose any way... Start on Saturday.
• Bored so just watched a youtube video of how to curl your hair with a straightener... My thought is girls do a lot of unnecessary work to look good; they should know they look pretty good without the work already.
• I wonder what it means to miss someone so much even though it's only been a day.
• I've known, experienced, and lived with certain dark sides of the society. I will never get used to it and will never like it even though it is just reality sometime.

4/24

• It's kinda cool to let my subconscious take over. While my mind is blank, my subconscious takes me to where I am supposed to be without me knowing. It's cool. And a little dangerous.
• I just realized I have not been angry for a really long time. Can't even remember the last time that I was really upset.
• woo, I got 10 followers on my blog. Cool. Didn't know people would actually like the things I write. hahaha
• suddenly have a lot on my mind... great, always right before bed.
• This has been a happy week. I hope it never ends. But then, I am not there.

4/23

• I have got to stop believing everything people say. grrr. Almost went to buy a gay porn because someone asked me to get it for him, but was actually joking, or was he? daaaaa
• Doing business is a mess when one party lies and messes up. I am just a translator = medium, and already feel the heat.
• Never actually dated... always work and related appointment. I wonder what it's like... but people in love surely look nice (most of them anyway). Oh, is that bitterness I hear? Yes, I guess, a little bit. Let's eat pudding later.
• Got ditched. Not the first time that I got ditched for a meeting, but I think it's the first time that I don't feel sad or bad at all. Hm. Maybe it's because I started the day on a high note. :)

4/22

• I am going to make this a productive week!
• Just realized I have many meetings/appointments this week:
  • MOM - Friday and movie?
  • Lia - catch up over tea or dinner sometime this week?
  • investor - tuesday after work
• I just realized what I want to tell my kids someday is also what I want to tell myself right now. ishogemen da!
• Watching Japanese drama is a great way to refresh my Japanese. :D
• Music is the universal spoken language. Picture is the universal written language.
• I somehow just CAN'T say no to people with smiley faces and ask nicely. daaa, somehow gave out a meal-worth of money to an Indian guy on the street with his suspicious religious/cult books... I got two copies... daaa.
• I think being needed by the people I love is my happiness.

4/18

• I wish that I can have someone by my side through laughter and tears.
• I wish I don't feel so much, even for my friends. The slightest thing can worry me. These people I love...

4/17

• Somehow quite productive today even though it's not exactly a happy day. Hm. I think it's the classical music (piano)!
• I am going to eat pudding later.
• Everything is beautiful and poetic in my mind, though it may be upsetting or the sad kind of beauty...