5/31

• I wonder what I look like to a stranger. Why does everyone comes to me for direction in public? There were literally hundreds of other people. They ignore the train station volunteer and came to me? And apparently, I have the look of a language master. So far I have encounter speakers of Chinese, Taiwanese, English, Japanese and French... I only speak Chinese and English really...

5/29

• I try very hard to help. I want to do so much. I hope I didn't do too much. I think I am just going to isolate myself for a while. Just write where only strangers read.
• If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it. -Tennessee Williams

5/28

• Oh time flies too fast. I need to keep up!
• The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. - Gustave Flaubert
• I am always in love with someone that I shouldn't. I would be in jail if it hurts more than just me.
• There's music for everyone. It is the universal language.

5/27

• I had another anxiety attack on the way home today. I burst into tears on the train. I am glad no one cared. I sing to release the rest, surprisingly helpful.
• I took a nap before the second job began. It helped settle my emotional anxieties, but I feel even more tired physically.
• I don't think I can talk to any of my friends today. I have so much darkness in me. I am unhealthy for everyone.

5/26

• Dear Laptop, please live until I have enough money.
• Nap time, Tea time are the best time.

5/25

• The desire to write grows with writing. -Desiderius Erasmus
• My ideal job is actually a writer. Even though I am not that great at it, I love writing - short or long stories, screen plays, poems and such. I like to let my thoughts run free through words.
• Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. -Jules Renard

5/24

• I am getting used to the things, the life that I do not enjoy. I am unhappily settling. It is scary what time does to a person. I need to change and get out of here before it is too late.

5/23

• Today, I sense my love is especially strong.

5/22

• I think I know what I want to put on that letter.
• It's pretty cool to have almost 40 followers for my blog. I find it very interesting how strangers have more interests than my friends do in what I write. It's also very fascinating that anyone actually likes what I write... Sometimes I am just writing to sort my thoughts.

5/21

• This made me cry, the beauty of classical harmony: http://youtu.be/_UEs0aubxoY
• OMG news channels around the world, stop putting on what I watched on youtube. Besides the fact that they are totally not news, I feel like you are stalking me.

5/20

• I think girls reaching in their shirt to adjust their bra is like guys reaching in their pants to adjust their undies. It can be really hot or really disturbing depending on the perspectives.

5/17

• I really want to write a letter but I just can't gather how to start it. What should the opening line be?
• "To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart." Phyllis Theroux
• When you are crying, smile, so the tears are happy tears.

5/16

• I had an anxiety attack on my way home from work today. I am just glad it wasn't too bad and that I could pull it through. Or else I'd be such an embarrassment and end up on the internet because there's no one to help me.
• It is just getting worse lately. And I don't even know why.
• To start the day: http://youtu.be/vot9BAktiOI

5/15

• Having a productive morning.

5/14

• I am really tired and even getting sick of the city, and of Taiwan. Though I technically grew up here, I have come to dislike the climate, the noise, the pollution, the crowds, the mutated city bugs and so many little things. Nothing is the way I remembered them as a kid. When did it get so bad? The worst thing here is, it's not alright to be just alright... The only thing I will never hate is the food.
• I have good days and I have bad days. Today started well, but somehow today ended up as my bad day. I don't even know how. What happened?

5/13

• I wonder what it feels to be adored, admired, loved and completely trusted by another person. I may be slow on this, but I am quite sure I have never been on the receiving side.
• Perhaps the first step to my dreams is not planning, it is to get out of this mess I am in - stop doing what I hate doing, stop settling for everything that comes in my way, and stop pushing down my misery. There has been enough planning. Action is what was missing, and always missing.

5/12

• Nothing matters until we've given them meanings, hopefully from the heart.
• News is NOT entertainment. It's the truth and it's often ugly... that's what it should be in my mind, but totally unrealistic.
• If people only do what they are paid to do, there needs to be a position to increase productivity and efficiency - the whip-man. Oh right, that's the boss.

5/11

• Hate rain? NO! Gear up with rain boots and rain coat! It's time to enjoy the weather! It's my favorite weather. Next to Asian (egg) pudding and few very special people, this particular weather is one of the few things that calms me and may even cheer me up.
• There's a way to make do of everything. It's a choice, isn't it?

5/10

• Cruel reality and loneliness have been taking the main stage of my life. Maybe it's time for the twist; and let it be dramatic. Read your life over and over. It's never the final draft.
• I realized, maybe I don't want to give in to reality just yet.

5/9

• I think I want to.

5/8

• The combination of Celicia and pudding can almost cures cancer, but not yet, it just cures sadness right now.
• My mind is blown.
  • http://youtu.be/LIy4aUw1cXQ
  • AGAIN: http://youtu.be/aZgG1M7BJUQ
  • And AGAIN: http://youtu.be/OTfBH-XFdSc
• I suddenly feel really tired of life.

5/7

• Tired is good, so I don't think as much about anything. But I need time.
• I dreamt another visit to my friends in CT. It didn't turn out well. I hope I can forget about this dream soon. Does it exist? NO. Was it real? NO.

5/4

• My current schedule makes me really tired. But I think I will keep doing it. It's somewhat fulfilling... in a terrible way.
• "c:" means? I just see two dots connected by a line.

5/2

• I cried very hard last night. I guess my emotions took over. Sleeping makes a good break.
• Now think happy thoughts. Think Celicia.

5/1

• I had dinner with my mom. I had a 24 oz steak. The quality was average, but it was really cheap, big piece of meat... I was impressed when I saw the real thing.
• Being troubled by something you do not like means you actually care about this something. As you continue to let this something bother you, you slowly fall into an abusive relationship... emotionally or physically...
• The reason I feel lonely is because I have no one to talk to about my problems or simply the day. And there's nothing I can do about it.
• For four days, I think I am going to stop pretending that people have the time and energy to actually care about me. I am going back to my shell. Let me rebuild these walls again.
• "We accept the love we think we deserve." The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
  • Right now, I feel like I deserve to be alone.