More and more often now, I feel pathetic missing you, Mckenzie J. Hyde. I am in constant doubts of myself with my insecurity. As much as I'd like to believe... I feel like I am just a stranger to you. All the conflicting thoughts and feelings are killing me.

I know you never tell me much. I am okay with that. Even though there are so many things of you I want to know so badly, I love you and respect you, and I think you would tell me if you want to.

There were a lot of times that I needed you, Kenz. I wanted to listen to your kind words to tell me everything will be okay. I think I would have believed it every single time. But I felt that you stopped listening. I explained to myself, who would want to listen when I am so damn negative? I think you are right to do that, because I only bring you down.

I think it's quite sad the way I consider you as my closest friend. I know I should not rely on you so much. I mean who am I to do such a selfish thing. But I am not the kind of person that get close to people easily. I don't have many people to turn to, you see? For you are the only person in this universe that somehow broke in to a deeper layer of me, I trust you.

I really meant it every time I told you that you have a very special place in my heart. But I think you never really understood. I love you very very much. It's a strange strange love for such a special friendship. And I guess, it's a selfish one. I wish I can have your attention all the time. I wish you can be by my side at all time. I wish you can count on me sometimes too.