- 12/1: sometimes it's okay to be just okay. some people search a lifetime for their purpose in life. some people wait a lifetime for their moment. some people may never find it. some people have found it but can't have it. it's all about the journey. so I guess, it's okay to be just okay sometimes.
- 12/2: technology exhibition with mom. pretty cool. but the suppliers are so aggressive!
- 12/3: plan changed. app. sent. ; feel so so empty today, so I got things done.
- 12/4: I want to stop feeling sad, lonely, depressed and all that brings me down. ; listography on iPod is interesting...
- 12/5: Think happy thoughts.
- 12/7: I wish I know just what to do.
- 12/8: interesting day with the Green Party and several other NGOs.
- 12/9: the simplest act and the simplest words fill my heart.
- 12/10: I realize I was going about it all wrong.
- 12/11: sooo happy to have make her laugh, even though i can only see the smile in the email. so pumped for the entire morning! yay! ; Bollywood movies have so much random singing and dancing hahahaha.
- 12/13: minsi 1140 pm English news surprised me... whaaaa...; it's harder to throw away clothes than expected... I am too sentimental.
- 12/14: dad is back to visit. ; the only person I can talk to about this is the only person I don't want to bother with this. Who can I talk to now?
- 12/15: I want to be there to make her happy. I wish I can. I wish she would let me. ; fatigue, headache, heartache... I am burning up. Slept for 12 hours and nothing is better...
- 12/16: fever didn't kill me but stress is doing it.
- 12/18: Heavy heart; I wish there's someone I can talk to. C's the only person I trust my heart with, but I hate how I tend to show my weak and fragile side to her (though it's nice to have someone to trust)... I hope that's not the only side of me that she knows. ; I've gotta be stronger! Mind Body Soul. Can't need other people! Not any more!
- 12/20: calm despite of all the stress. ; I, for some reasons, wished for it. And now it's coming true - major illness. So much physical pain... ; I love her. I miss her.
- 12/26: I think I want to be completely alone for a while if it's even possible. This world is a bit overwhelming right now...
- 12/27: it's like a curse... I constantly feel so much emotional pain. I don't even know where it's from any more. It's leading me into insanity... I am sad that loving someone can be so difficult as I selfishly wish her to care about me a bit more.
- 12/30: I vote The Secret Life of Walter Mitty to be the best movie of the year. ; I wonder when and how I came to this... maybe it's just my nature to push away and lose everyone that's close to me. I hope I am strong enough.
- 12/31: It feels just like every other day.
dec 1 2013 ∞
jan 5 2014 +