• 7/1: I can be located on my iPod/Google Map without wifi(no network of any kind)!! Kinda scary.
  • keep on that positivity by thinking of c. And then can't stop thinking about her and seeing her everywhere. Gosh, I am still in it deep.
• 7/2: 北投 陽明山 士林夜市。lots of walking, like 6-7 km, but good and cheap. Exhausted though, physically and just generally.
  • I am super low on cash. D:
• 7/3: I can't help to think that maybe that's why... I realized one of the reasons I feel frustrated on this trip is how McKenzie treated me and I don't want to be like her.
• 7/4: Pretty good ending to this trip. It was okay. Cooked awesome dinner for family. :D
• 7/5: I think I've mastered it - a mess that looks just fine. ; some things I know I have lost. Some things I know just won't ever happen. Some things I just need to let go.
• 7/6: family trip. What another one!? Yes another one. Lol; cool nature stuff for city boys. XD
• 7/7: an okay day... got home safely, and then read some things that just killed the rest of my living heart... I give up. It hurts so much. By the end of the day, all I feel is pain. And I don't feel like talking about it to anyone any more. Who cares, right? So I will work on that smile.

Fucking shit. Not sure why I am angry too. Easier to hate sometimes, I guess. Fuck

• 7/8: balanced it back. I am much better at handling my emotions now. I think this is good. Let me fall down harder, so that when I get back up again, I will be invincible.
• 7/9: if not for work, I would probably quit all the social media... ; good exercise! Mind clearing!
• 7/11: bottled up. I think I can concentrate on work more now.
• 7/12: fancy lunch for early birthday. game day.
• 7/13: family field trip. First day with contact lenses. I am such a noob.
• 7/14: ate way too much at the buffet. Good food. ; procrastinating... I am just not motivated to do anything. ; having troubles finding happiness and life meaning right now. Like a zombie.
• 7/15: what is happening to me... generally better though. I can do this.
• 7/16: it's okay la.
• 7/17: new laptop! Awesomeness of new tech.
• 7/19: two huge meals! so full. new luggage getto!
• 7/20: birthday. I don't tell anyone now because I am usually disappointed when i have expectation. Now I am simply happy for the few that remember. Welp, it's not a big deal.
• feeling depressed and just tired of life. I hope it pass soon.
• 7/21: rank silver IV. Not that hard. Ha.
• 7/22: typhoon!
• 7/23: last day in Taiwan! Nervous. Anxious.
• 7/24: flight! Hope I didn't forget anything.
• US Time: LAX is a messy, inefficient airport. Don't think I want to fly through there again with so much stuff. Flight delayed for three hours. LA to Portland... I could have driven there in that time. Total wait time = 7 hours.
• 7/25: Bro out time! Ran errands.
• 7/26: Got up at 5 am. Work. Felt so hungry at 7.
• 7/27: Went for a run. I am more out of shape than I expected.
• 7/28: life just seems so unreal...
• 7/29: up early to work. Hopefully finish today!
• 7/30: almost the end of July. feels like time is going faster.

Where is my happiness?

• 7/31: one of the best burgers ever! perfect balance of meet, sauce, buns and vegetables.

Fireside - Beavorton Bar.