• "hey, are you hurt?" "no, I'm bleeding because it's fun."
  • "wanna go?" "yeah." nobody moves..
  • a paper cut is a tree's last revenge.
  • Can you talk to me first sometimes? Otherwise I feel like I'm annoying you.
  • dear customer: I work here, I know more than you, and clearly I am right.
  • Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you.
  • due tomorrow = do tomorrow.
  • Hi, I wasted a very long time liking you.
  • Holding your cat in the air whilst singing songs from The Lion King
  • I always skip the first piece of bread
  • I am a ninja.. no you're not.. did you see that?.. see what?.. exactly.
  • I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
  • I can't tell funny stories because i crack up before i finish
  • I can't... I have dance.
  • I change the date on my assignments so my teachers don't think i procrastinate
  • I check behind the shower curtain for murderers when I go in the bathroom
  • I day dream of things that will probably never happen in real life
  • I didn't fall, I attacked the floor
  • I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.
  • I fell asleep with my phone in my hand waiting for you to text me back
  • I hate when people punch my abs and they break their hand.
  • I look at you and motherfuckingassholeihopeyoufuckingdie comes to my mind
  • I open the fridge more than once thinking there's going to be new food
  • I tell inanimate objects to STAY when they look like they're going to fall
  • I wish I could go back to when I met you. and walk away.
  • I yell at video games when i die
  • If you tickle my feet i am not responsible for what happens to your face
  • I'm so tired but i want to stay up and talk to you
  • insulting people on levels they can't comprehend.
  • laying in bed with your lights on wishing you had those clap-on, clap-off lights.
  • looking at a test and thinking, "when did we learn this?"
  • move out of the way children, I've been waiting 11 years to see Toy Story 3..
  • MSN taught me how to type fast
  • no, you're wrong. so just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.
  • Re-reading text messages to make myself feel happy again
  • taking a drink and completely missing your mouth.
  • Thanks wind, you have totally raped my hair
  • The feeling you get when you understand something in maths class
  • the only reason why I haven't killed you is because it's illegal.
  • Thinking of something and then laughing alone
  • Tom, it's been 30 years ... you're not going to eat Jerry
  • Typing your password at lightning speed.
  • wait, that made a lot more sense in my head.
  • WHEN I READ CAPITALS, THERE IS A SHOUTING VOICE IN MY HEAD
  • When you just say 'k' or 'lol', I close the convo
  • Yeah, ok, yes, yeah, yeah, ok, yes, ok, i know, ok, yes, BYE MOM
  • your display picture is a car? sorry, I didn't realize you were a transformer.
  • You're my best friend because i wouldn't dare to be this weird with anyone else
  • You're online and i want to talk to you, BUT im not saying hi first
jun 15 2010 ∞
jan 14 2011 +