This is the one song everyone/ would like to learn: the song/ that is irresistible:/ the song that forces men/ to leap overboard in squadrons/ even though they see the beached skulls/ the song nobody knows/ because anyone who has heard it/ is dead, and the others can't remember/ Shall I tell you the secret/ and if I do, will you get me/ out of this bird suit?/ I don't enjoy it here/ squatting on this island/ looking picturesque and mythical/ with these two feathery maniacs,/ I don't enjoy singing/ this trio, fatal and valuable./ I will tell the secret to you,/ to you, only to you./ Come closer. This song/ is a cry for help: Help me!/ Only you, only you can,/ you are unique/

At last. Alas/ it is a boring song/ but it works every time.