- Running away doesn't help I've learned throughout the many problems that I've faced that running away to another city or country doesn't make your problems disappear. I've tried many times to just up and leave as soon as I could so that I could erase everything - clear my head. And don't get me wrong, it works, but only for the duration of your trip. Case and point: I went to Chicago a while back with my best friend because I wanted to get away from the drama encasing my life and the men who constantly drove me crazy. We left spontaneously, we saw a Hawks game, we walked Chicago... but when I came back home, all of those guys, all of those problems? They were still right there waiting for me to get back. If you want to live your life to the fullest and be spontaneous, by all means, do. But if you're running away from something, just know that you can run as far as you want and drag them out as long as you want, but other people's lives are still in motion, too, and they want closure, too. Those problems and people aren't going to fade away because you decided to get away for a few days. Now don't mistake me here, I absolutely adored my time in both Chicago and St. Louis, but nothing went away. I came back to the same idiotic men and school troubles that I had before the idea even came into being. I just want you to know that it's difficult, life is. I want you to realize, too, that everyone around you has to deal with it just as much as you do. It is so important that you consider the fact that, yes, the experience is vital, but your problems will not run in the opposite directions. Quite on the contrary, they will follow for much time afterward. I imagine, though, this is a lesson you will have to learn on your own.
- Don't expect to have it all figured out once you graduate I graduated high school with my life figured out, let me tell you. I knew that I was going to be a teacher, I was going to get married and then I was going to have children and never work another day in my life - unless I wanted to, that is. Let me tell you though, I spent a year and a half in college with a major in Elementary Education. During the Spring semester of my sophomore year in college, I decided that planning my life according to something I don't have (i.e. a husband, a boyfriend etc.) and according to what everyone else thought I would be good at is a terrible idea. You will be miserable. You will end up stuck in a job that you don't like but feel obligated to because that's what everyone else thought was good for you. I beg you to find something that you love and pursue it at all costs. I will be your biggest supporter.
- Don't let anyone bring you down There were times in my life when I had friends that were there for me, and then there were times when some of the people I considered closest to me completely betrayed me. Don't ever let that destroy you. You will always have family to support you and even though it doesn't seem like much I'm sure, later on in your life, family will become more important to you. It might be in college; it might even be after college, but I will tell you that eventually what your family thinks will become more important to you. It took me until college to completely understand what an amazing woman my mother is. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved and respected my mother, but it hasn't been until lately that I've been able to appreciate her more than ever. So don't ever let your friends think that they control your life. Friends are vital and so so important in your life, but don't base your life decisions on them. Do what you think God wants in your life and do what's best for Him. If your friends get angry at you for doing what was best for you, don't let that get to you. You should be humble, honest and you should always be confident in the woman/man of Christ that you are.
- Always be honest about your feelings This one I'm sure you'll find exceptions for, but I want to tell you that you will never be taken seriously if you cannot express the way you are feeling. If you don't like a dress on your friend, tell her you don't like it. She will appreciate it when she's not walking around in an ugly dress. If you don't like a certain type of food, don't eat it to be polite. Tell them you'll pass and that you aren't fond of it. They will take note, I'm sure, and it won't happen again. If you don't agree with someone or some idea, speak up. Don't let people walk all over you and form your ideas for you. Tell them that you disagree. Don't argue, but be honest about it. Arguing never gets you anywhere and I can guarantee, you will probably feel worse about your ideas and about the other person than you did before the argument even started. Now don't miss this one, because if there was ever something I would hope you'd be honest about, it is this: If you have feelings for someone and you feel like they are the right person for you at the time, tell them. I don't want you to miss this because I've found it to be the most difficult of all. You will fear rejection and losing a relationship, but I have been through friendship after friendship with men and have blown up most of them because I wasn't upfront, and when I was, I hated them for not feeling the same. That is one mistake I hope you will never make. Don't EVER get angry at someone for saying they don't have feelings for you and don't ever let the fear of them saying so hold you back from being honest. That one conversation between you two about "how you feel" will creep up on you and everything will most likely fall apart. However, there are times when you don't have to be dishonest, per say, but you may have to refrain from telling them for some time. It may be years before they ever know your true feelings, but make sure that it is that way because they never asked - not because they asked and you lied about it. Do not ever miss the opportunity, if they ask you how you feel, to tell them. And if you tell them and they shut you down, be as strong as I'm sure I've taught you to be and simply take it with a grain of salt. Do not ever ruin a friendship because of that, but don't ever hold on to a dysfunctional relationship, if that is what it becomes.
jan 18 2011 ∞
jan 19 2011 +