• ちはやぶる 神代も聞かず 竜田川からくれなるに 水 くくるとは。

(impassionate gods have never seen crimson that lies in the tatsuta river), hyakunin isshu: poem 17

• "it's not myself i hand over to you—that would be too simple—what i hand over to you is yourself, yourself loved in every part." from a to x: a story in letters, john berger
• "there are not two of us. each of us is alone." from no more/c'est tout, marguerite duras
• "i really like the ideia of love as a violent act—not to the person you love, but against the world. to say to somebody, 'i love you; by extension, i hate all other things." from an interview, hozier
• "did i survive? i guess i did. but only because i knew i might get home to you." from stone butch blues, leslie feinberg
• "what am i, if not yours? / what do i do with my hands when they are just hands?" from the lover as a cult, olivia gatwood
• "i had two longings and one was fighting ... i wanted to be loved and i wanted to be a... from wide sargasso sea, jean rhys

∘ january

• obit, victoria chang

∘ february

• how high we go in the dark, sequoia nagamatsu
• artemis, stephanie budin

∘ march

• conversations on love, natasha lunn
• our wives under the sea, julia armfield
• the employees: a workplace novel of the 22nd century, olga ravn ★

∘ april

• time is a mother, ocean vuong ✩
• and then i woke up, malcolm devlin

∘ may

⊹ media/literary related [2022-]

—

• the elephant vanishes, haruki murakami>esp barn burning; rewatch burning (2018)
• men without women, haruki murakami>esp drive my car; drive my car (2021)
• children of the new world, alexander weinstein>esp saying goodbye to yang; rewatch after yang (2021)
• phantom lights and other stories, miyamoto teru; rewatch maborosi (1995) :[
• dance on my grave, aidan chambers; rewatch summer of 85 (2020)
• reread annihilation (southern reach trilogy), jeff vandermeer; rewatch annihilation (2018)
• northern lights/the subtle knife/the amber spyglass (his dark materials), philip pullman; rewatch seasons 1-2
• the garden of forking paths from fictions, jorge luis borges; rewatch the oa (s1-2)
• i love dick, chris kraus; rewatch i love dick
• to live, yu hua; rewatch to live (1994)
• the king in yellow, robert w. chambers; rewatch true detective (s1)
• reread on earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong; before the movie comes out>...

• no choir, florence and the machine
• i know you know i love you, sunset rollercoaster
• happy together, the turtles
• i know places, lykke li
• hummingbird, kyle la grange
• for lovers who hesitate, jannabi
• let's stay together, o.zic, martian
• the end of love, jaurim
• sea of teeth, sparklehouse
• if i believe you, the 1975
• francis forever, mitski
• out like a light, the honeysticks
• gymnopédie no. 3, erik satie
• heartlines, florence and the machine
• self control, frank ocean
• loving you is so easy, honne
• rosyln, bon iver, st. vincent
• i'll be there, zitten
• dear dream, nct dream
• my jinji, sunset rollercoaster
• together, car, the garden

REVELATIONS // may your body always be a beloved space for revelations.

PRESENCE // turn me into a boat on a river of stones a rain isolated in my fevered silence

OBLIVION // on the other edge of the night love is possible take me there take me to the sweet essences that die each day in your memory

WORKS AND NIGHTS // i’ve been the full offering the pure wandering of a wolf in the woods on the night of the bodies to speak the innocent word

MEANING OF HER ABSENCE // shadow linked so gently to my name

MEMORY LOSS // i recall with all my lives my reasons for forgetting .

DEAF LANTERN // all night long i make the night. all night long i write. word by word i am writing the night.

PRIVILEGE // the most beautiful of all on the night of those who leave me: you whom i long for , how endless your not-returning, you as shadow till the day of days.

WINTER TALE // the light of the wind through the pin..._do i understand such signs of incandescen..._