"A few days ago, I go into the toilets, Tony and Gary were in there, they're butt naked, Tony has Gary by his hair, like this, and he's just doing 'im, doggy style, and Tony's like: ohhh who's your daddy, i'm your daddy! i'm big daddy! fff oohhh, oh yeah, you like that?, oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeahhh i'm daddy cooool! - so I'm guessing they've run away to continue their illicit homosexual affair, and I ask you, in this world, of intolerance and prejudice, who are we, who are we to condemn them?" 1x01

"There's only one thing young ladies should be inserting in themselves... and that's knowledge" 1x06

"If you just could see yourselves! It breaks my heart! You're wearing cardigans!" 1x06

"Seriously? I spend a few hours in the toilet and missed all that? Life is just passing me by" 2x01

"It's just so hard when you're so cute and i'm so horny and there's only a couple of thin layers of cotton separating our genitals" 2x03

"Do my feelings for him offend you? Well I'm sorry! because they're true! and pu-- well, they're true!" 2x03

"Gay, straight, retarded, why do we put labels on everything?" 2x03

"It's much easier to humiliate, degrade and just generally shit all over someone than it is to admit that you love them" 2x03

"Teeth: good, hair: beautiful, cock: in, fly's up... let's go be famous" 2x06

"Why is a gorilla wearing a gorilla costume?" 2x06

"You're giving birth to an alien!!" 2x07