With respect to Lisa.

• Scoffed down cigarettes like candy for nearly 13 months straight, occasional respites aside
• "Yelled I love you Stephen!" with unparalleled gusto in the middle of a taping of "The Colbert Report," encouraging the security guard nearest me to respond with a look so severe that I now find myself at a loss for words
• Spilled lots of beer, wine, and coffee on many fabrics over an incalculable, albeit condensed period of time
• Voluntary failed my anthropology course last semester despite it's status (duly deserved) as an "introductory course"
• Voluntary failed my physics course (this semester) despite it's status (duly deserved) as an "introductory course"