APARTMENT AUS

• Washer/Dryer buddies (always finding the other’s pair of socks, underwear, etc. in their basket after they get home.)
• I got your mail by mistake and I’m hoping you have mine.
• You live on the floor above me and you stomp a lot.
• These walls are sort of thin and I can hear you singing horribly to the Pretty Woman soundtrack when you’re in the shower.
• We both share the same noisy neighbor and we talk shit about them in the laundry room together.
• There’s a drunk guy singing outside and we both look out our windows to watch.
• I’m spring cleaning and you laugh at me for trying to hang my sheets on a make-shift laundry line.
• You’re the horrible cook who I often see opening and closing your front door to get rid of the smoke.
• You work in the main office and I’m constantly coming in to ask for a spare key.
• I tend to lock myself out of my apartment a lot and sort of need to climb out your window to crawl into mine.
• These walls are really thin; and I swear you’re the loudest orgasm-er I’ve ever heard.
• You just moved in across the hall and I thought I might invite you over for a beer or something.