of course, the dialogue in every episode is pretty epic, but these are just some of my favorites that I kept track of. When I remembered to :P

• "On a scale of one to ten, it sucked." - Xander
• "It's officially nippy - so say my nips." - Xander
• "It doesn't work like that, peaches." - Spike
• "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." - Spike
• "We should figure out what kind of deal this is. I mean, is it a gathering, a shindig, or a hootenanny?" (Oz)
  • "What's the difference?" (Cordelia)
  • "Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig - dip. Less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And hootenanny. Well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny." (Oz)
• "If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it." - Xander
• "Eh, what should we do with the trio here? Burn them?" (Buffy)
  • "I brought marshmallows!" (Willow)
  • :awkward silence:
  • "Occasionally I'm callous and strange." (Willow)
• "Cordelia! Feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next twenty seconds." - Xander
• "All we know is that the fate of the entire world rests on the...did you eat all the jellies?" (Giles)
  • "Did you want a jelly?" (Buffy)
  • "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says 'let's have a jelly in the mix.'" (Giles)
  • "We're sorry. Buffy had three!" (Willow)
• "Buff, I'm storming off. Doesn't really work if you come with me." - Willow
• "10 to 1, could get pointless." - Oz
• "That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay." - Willow
• "And I shall be wearing pink taffeta, as chenille will not go with my complexion." - Giles
• "Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?" - Xander
• "Oh, as usual, dear." - Giles
• "Damn it man, we have to get inside! Our, er, um, our families ar-are in there. Our, um, mothers are in there, and, and tiny, tiny babies!" - Giles
• "He blinked. The man moistened his eyeballs, and we're having a meeting about it." - Xander
• "Yeah, you can't just go librum incinderea, and-" (Xander)
  • "Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books." (Giles)
• "In the midst of all that, do you really think they were keeping it up? ... Oh, for a different phrasing." - Giles
• "So with Buffy and Riley havin', you know, acts of nakedness around the clock lately, maybe they set something free. Like a big burst in poltergasm." - Xander
• "Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh, God. I'm English!" - Spike
• (to Xander) "You are strange and off-putting." - Dracula
• "Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master....bater." - Xander
• "See! Buffy didn't feel it. I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince....bater." - Xander
• "In my plan, we are beltless." - Andrew
• "Hey! Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited! ... Sometimes I shouldn't say words." - Xander
• "Could it possibly get any uglier? I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily." - Giles
• "Oh, God. I'm terrified. I didn't think - I mean, I - I just figured you'd be terrified and I'd be sarcastic about it." - Anya
• "Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-a-Skanky-Hoe." - Willow
• "It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." - Xander
• "You were right all along, about everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese." - Giles
• "No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer." - Giles