PERMANENT STAIN

ten years older and it still hurts the same

ten years wiser and it still brings me pain

what you took from me left a permanent stain

and for everything that's wrong with me

you're to blame

you're guilty of all of it

and i still flinch at the sound of your name

do you know i fantasize

about your well-deserved demise?

do you know you scarred me for my entire life?

you took away my bliss

and all my will to live

everything hurt after this

everything broke inside of me

and i was forced to spend all these years

hopelessly trying to fix it

disgusted at my body

for something you did

mortified by everybody

afraid they would hurt me

blaming myself for being naive

but i was still just a kid

i was only thirteen

when you took everything

give me back my innocence

it wasn't yours to take

i still have nightmares about it

even when i'm awake

i wish i didn't remember

your voice and your face

and that awful december

i wanna make you pay

and therapy never made

any of this go away

they say forgiveness will give you peace

i say forgiving is for the weak

you don't deserve forgiveness

for anything you did

and not even revenge

could set me free.