• http://www.merriam-webster.com/
• http://www.kokogiak.com/logolepsy/
• http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page
• http://wordsmith.org/
• http://thenounproject.com/

• Ailurophile A cat-lover.
• Assemblage A gathering.
• Becoming Attractive.
• Beleaguer To exhaust with attacks.
• Brood To think alone.
• Bucolic In a lovely rural setting.
• Bungalow A small, cozy cottage.
• Chatoyant Like a cat's eye.
• Comely Attractive.
• Conflate To blend together.
• Cynosure A focal point of admiration.
• Dalliance A brief love affair.
• Demesne Dominion, territory.
• Demure Shy and reserved.
• Denouement The resolution of a mystery.
• Desuetude Disuse.
• Desultory Slow, sluggish.
• Diaphanous Filmy.
• Dissemble Deceive.
• Dulcet Sweet, sugary.
• Ebullience Bubbling enthusiasm.

• Disappear - Jason Webley
• Closer - Kings of Leon
• Hold On (Rough Cut) - Pearl Jam
• Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd (esp. the version from the movie "The Departed")
• Footprints On My Ceiling - Social Distortion
• Strip Her Down - Cold
• You're Not Alone - Saosin
• Only One - Yellowcard
• I Can Barely Breathe - Manchester Orchestra
• If You'll Stay In My Past - Maria Mena
• As Much As I Ever Could - City & Colour
• Casey's Song - City & Colour
• Nights Like These - Lucero
• The Safest Place - Sade

• Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
• Submissive to everything, open, listening
• Try never get drunk outside yr own house
• Be in love with yr life
• Something that you feel will find its own form
• Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
• Blow as deep as you want to blow
• Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
• The unspeakable visions of the individual
• No time for poetry but exactly what is
• Visionary tics shivering in the chest
• In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
• Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
• Like Proust be an old teahead of time

Stuff I Love

• Trucks, cars, trains, and most things with WORKING wheels.
• Holidays, especially Christmas! ("Kwis-mas")
• Donald Duck.
• Singing!

• Borderline Personality Disorder

"is one of the most widely studied personality disorders. People with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to experience intense and unstable emotions and moods that can shift fairly quickly. They generally have a hard time calming down once they have become upset. As a result, they frequently have angry outbursts and engage in impulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, risky sexual liaisons, self-injury, overspending, or binge eating. These behaviors often function to sooth them in the short-term, but harm them in the longer term.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to see the world in polarized, over-simplified, all-or-nothing terms. They apply their harsh either/or judgments to others and to themselves and their perceptions of themselves and others may quick...

• Little Otik
• Antichrist
• The Jacket
• Rosemary's Baby
• Exorcist
• The Shining
• The Silence of the Lambs
• Red Dragon
• Hannibal
• Carrie
• Requiem for a Dream
• Poltergeist 1, 2 & 3
• Pet Semetary
• American Psycho
• Repulsion

• the feeling that everything has already been written or said by someone else
• the feeling that my words and thoughts are not important, in fact, they are trash
• the fear that I will write something, think it's great, then re-read it later and be disappointed
• the fact that my working vocabulary seems a lot smaller than that of good authors
• the fear that I will start writing something any completely lose steam
• when I start to think about all these inhibitions, I get sickened by my thoughts and just start hating myself, and then I just can't write at all
• the fear of being "angsty"
• the fear of sounding self-centered
• because I judge other people so harshly, it's impossible to live up to my own standards
• because I know that no one is going to re...

• Gummo
• Julien, Donkey Boy
• Tarnation
• The Once and Future Queen
  • Little Britain (Boxed Set)
    • Alice (Jan Svankmajer)
    • An Education
    • Antichrist
    • Awakenings
    • Being John Malkovich
    • Bubble
    • Dolores Claiborne
    • Drop Dead Fred
    • Falling Down
    • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
    • Feed
    • Gonzo
    • I Think We’re Alone Now
    • Little Otik

• Adrian
• Ari
• Asa
• Casey
• Cash
• Dimitri
• Dominick
• Leo
• Landon
• Rafael
• Silas
• Vincent
• Ellis
• Nahko
• Kahlo
• Pax

• Dallas Green
• Caleb Folowill
• Ben Nichols
• Paul Murphy (Wintersleep)
• Elin Kastlander (jj)
• Anna-Lynne William (Trespassers William)
• Jonny Craig
• Jason Webley

• Active Child - So Far Away
• Active Child - When Your Love is Safe
• Baths - Maximalist
• Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire (Zeds Dead Remix)
• Bon Iver - Woods
• Buckethead - all from albums Electric Tears, Colma
• Digits - Lost Dream
• Gayngs - By Your Side (Sade cover)
• Gayngs - Draper Drunk (Plain Old Bill Regrind)
• Gayngs - Faded High
• Grand Archives - Sleepdriving
• JJ - all
• M83 - We Own The Sky (Datsik Remix)
• Magnetic Man - Crossover (Ft. Katy B)
• OK Go - Skyscrapers
• Paper Route - Waiting for the Final Leaf to Fall
• Ronald Jenkees - all

• going blind, especially from an overdose
• having a heart attack from an overdose
• developing a bowel obstruction
• losing the ability to communicate
• developing anhedonia, or some sort of dopamine-blocking disorder
• paralysis
• developing MS
• finding out I'm schizophrenic
• that I look way different than I see myself when I look in the mirror
• that there is someone else inhabiting my body
• that I am not the same person as I was two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago... that they're all different and not connected
• having a stroke
• becoming addicted to a drug I can't stop
• addiction in general
• that I will act on impulse and kill mysel...