my most memorable compliments and would-be insults

"Hey, you kind of have a hooked nose. When did you get a hooked nose?"

• This girl had known me my entire life and it took her five years to notice the aftermath of a broken nose. And for the record, it's not hooked. It's just a little bumpy.

"You'd look pretty in a prom dress."

• I'd look pretty without a crooked nose.

"Wow. Your hands are huge."

• I have long fingers.

"You know, you're taller than most boys here. What're you, 5'11"?"

• I'm 5'8"

"You know what's funny? You're pupils are always so dilated teachers think you're high all the time. And you know what's funny? You don't even smoke pot."

• It's true.

"Why the horse face?"

• My mother's botched attempt at "Why the long face?" I do have a bit of a horsey resemblance if I'm being fair.

"My very own Natalie Porcelain."

• I'm on the pale side.

"I'm sorry, I got distracted by your lopsided ears. Did you ever notice one's got an attached ear lobe and the other is unattached?"

• No I hadn't noticed, and no one else had either. Now that it's been pointed out I can't stop thinking about it.

"...and you're like Snape. You're tall and skinny and sarcastic and you never smile...and you scare people. And you're really smart and you don't like idiots. And you think everyone's an idiot. And you've got a crooked nose and a low voice and your hair..."

• I love it when all my worst features are lumped together in one convenient place...

"She's pretty what's wrong with you?"

• Some guy's response to the news that his friend wasn't going to the same summer camp as me.

"I think you should smile more often, and do you know why? Because you've got an absolutely beautiful smile. It's true."

• Probably false

"Are you wearing underwear?" no "Nice butt."

• I'm not going to lie. I've got a nice butt.

"Nice ass!"

• Yelled at me from across the parking lot while walking a little girl home because she was afraid to go by herself. I responded with, "Nice manners!"

"You remind me of someone. Who is it? You know what I'm talking about? Remember that movie? My Fair Lady! You just have that look about you."

• This man was quite old and obviously hadn't seen Audrey Hepburn for quite some time.

"I like your laugh. It's like jingle bells or something. Do you always laugh like that?"

• I hope not.

"You're not ever meeting any of my friends 'cause they've seen pictures of you and that's as close as they're gonna get."

• Big brothers are so possessive

"Your hair's getting so long. It's so pretty. And you don't even do anything to it, you just wake up and say, "I'm beautiful" and you are."

• I do say that.

"Hey you're funny. You got a sense of humour just like me. I was so worried you weren't going to be funny."

• My dad is hilarious.

"Hey who's that? I'm kidding I knew it was you. You look so good I almost didn't recognize you."

• It was Halloween

"You have really nice skin."

• So many people mentioned it right after meeting me that my sister starting adding it in while making introductions.

"I like your face."

• Some guys response to "You like my sweater?"

"Kay."

• "Which of the four of us do you think is prettiest?"

"You look really pretty right now. Just your face, and your hair is perfect, and just, look at your face. Wow. You look good."

• I did look pretty good.

"You've got beautiful hands. What? She does. They remind me of your mother's. Very elegant."

• My mother's ex, feeling a little nostalgic

"You're not like that. I mean, not to say you're not pretty enough to get free stuff, but you wouldn't use your powers for evil."

• No, never. Okay, once. But it was an accident.

"You know how your skin is so flawless?"

• Yes.

"She was the hottest girl there besides Kay."

• There were two girls there total.

"And you're like a statue in a museum, you know? Look but don't touch."