- Children learn what they live
- If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
- If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
- If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
- If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
- If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient
- If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence
- If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate
- If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice
- If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
- If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself
- If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world
- Treat children lovingly and with respect. Honor their presence. Do not talk down to them, or they will not respect you. All the words in the world will have no effect if they are not treated this way.
- Listen to them, be present with them, reason with them, and talk with them like adults. If you can't be present with them, tell them so. You can say "I need to relax for a while and just read the newspaper. Then we can talk about this". They don't care so much as long as you are honest. They know quickly when you are lying or acting phony.
- Answer their questions, rather than brushing them off. If you don't know the answer, say so, but attempt to find out. And keep your word. Their questions are valid.
- Give them choices about everything!
- Discipline them, rather than punish them. There is a difference in intent that is enormous! Help them create their own disciplinary solutions. For example, if a child misbehaves, try asking the child to consider an appropriate punishment or better, an appropriate consequence. This is a much better word to use. You may be surprised when they come up with the disciplinary action themselves, and are content to go along with it.
- Be creative when setting limits.
- Keeping children occupied is the best way to keep them out of trouble.
- Never belittle them - ever! This means to avoid discipline by shame or guilt. Instead, set up reasonable but firm rules and boundaries, expected discipline and punishments, and stick with them.
- Always explain why when you give them instructions. Listen to these reasons yourself.
- Simple reasons for instructions will often suffice, such as "because I am tired today". Honesty will go a long way with children.
- Make them partners in raising them. Think about this one a lot.
- As infants, explain to them everything you are doing. They may not understand, but your attentiveness and honoring of them will be felt and appreciated.
- If problems develop, have the child’s IQ tested before you label them and drug them.
- Always provide safety in your support. Do not use negative criticism. Instead, express your support for their endeavors.
- Don't tell children who they are or who they will be. Let them decide who and what they are interested in.
- Be flexible in your viewpoint and expectations.
- Much more important may be to preserve and protect their creativity and integrity. These qualities are now much more important for a person's future success than their ability to perform on rote exams or going to the right college.
oct 1 2012 ∞
oct 3 2012 +