I think a lot about my precious favourite videos game, the one video game I would kick all other games into the sea in some kind of video game lord of the flies situation where I'm for some reason forced to kill video games, so I thought you know, yeah, okay, let's make a video about this game, even though I sort of already did with a beautiful top ten fave moments video that no one in the world cared about, but anyway let's talk about Final Fantasy VIII.

First I have to summarise Final Fantasy VIII. SO basically you're a student at a military academy and you wear a cool outfit which is sorta light goth, you probably wanna be a big goth, idk, and you have a cool sword that is also a gun. Your name is Squall. You fight with some guy who is the only other guy with a sword gun or whatever, so I guess his masculinity is threatened by the fact that you're the other sword gun kid and you wear a cool jacket with feathers on it, so he has to slash you across the face to show that he's the cool big man in town. This is where the game opens, you wake up in the doctor's office and you're like yeah my face hurts because a redditor sliced it pretty much in half but I'm fine, and you go about your day and you do an exam which is to go to a cave and fight the devil.

Then you go to Normandy and storm the beaches because you need to liberate a small French town, which is also your final exam and you fight a big robot spider and you probably think "military school was a mistake" at this point, but nevermind that because you graduated! Congrats! That means you're now a Hired Goon! So your school sends you off on your first official job to meet a cute antifa girl who shoots her dog like a cannon, as all antifa must, and long story short you fail to kidnap the president and end up having to assassinate a witch who is more president than the president. This fails because a cowboy you meet has anxiety, so you all end up in prison. Also you're now regularly having dreams about some kind of sexy idiot. Luckily the prison security isn't really "Good" so you escape, but it turns out the country is mad about the assassination thing and bombs your friend's school. So you head back to your school only to find out that there's a big weird dude in the basement and that your school can fly. Your friends, meanwhile, sneak into a missile base to tell the missiles they're gonna send to your school to uh, fly wrong a little bit. Once again, security is not good.

Your school flies off into the sea, and you end up bumping into a town that is effectively a big bowl in the sea. Now the witch you tried to kill is after you, so you travel around trying to figure out what they're doing and you visit the bombed out school of your friend and it starts snowing and you realise that you and all your friends went to the same orphanage but your weird magic monsters that you equip inside your ear or something are getting into your brain a little bit so you're all forgetting your childhood memories, and it turns out the witch you tried to kill was actually your mum.

So you fight the witch and it turns out she was possessed by another witch who lives in the future in a big spooky castle because she's a huge goth, and she's using time travel for a little bit of world domination. Also it turns out the girl you like is a witch, which I guess is like some kind of genetic mutation or something, because when you defeat witch 1, the possession passes to her, which just means she's in a coma right now. So now you have to go to the big city to meet a doctor who's also a time travel fan, you take your girlfriend in a coma to outer space, where she unfortunately releases another witch, meanwhile on earth your friends are following a big spooky alien box.

You save your girlfriend in space and she awakes from her coma, so you tell her you like her and that it's ok to be a witch, you come back to earth, meet the sexy idiot from your dreams, who is the president of the big city and also your dad, and you go to the weird floating box in the sky, where the same school friend who sliced your face open is now making friends with the witch from space, the new vessel for goth future witch. You fight and then you time travel to goth future witch's house, a scary castle full of monsters and puzzles, and kill her, and then you just go to a nice field with your girlfriend and her dog. It's a perfect video game.

So, aside from the flawless and normal plot, why do I like this game so much?

Well,

Everyone hates the junction system but I love the junction system. The junction system is my precious child and I will defend it until I get forcefully removed from the PTA meeting. I wil not be stopped.

There's a lot of cats in this game ok, the cat in the house in Timber, the cat outside the hotel in Timber, the cat provoking the dog in dollet, probably other cats [inc hbomb clip outside timber hotel?)