- I'm worried that I have no real friends. I have the rest of my life to make one, but right now it feels heavy to be so alone.
- College... ah, paper after paper, text after text, virtual exam after exam. All the weeks. All the fucking weeks. I don't have time to breath.
- I'm going to lose my social security soon (ok, I think I already lost it)
- I keep having health problems. My heart (literally) hurts. Last night it hurted so much that I thought I was going to die. That and other minor pains (of past surgeries from when I had cardiac arrest) stress me a lot.
- 3 weeks ago my nephew took my medication (for mdd and toc) and I've been feeling unstable since then. He already gave it back, but why he took it? he doesn't want to tell and that worries me.
- I've been feeling down lately. I wish I was dead. I'm having obsessive thoughts again and I feel my mind sliping. I'm still so young and I fear that I may be going crazy.
- I have anger outbursts. Not that I suddenly scream at everyone and all that... I just feel angry for some reason. Really, really angry an I don't know why. And then I feel really sad.
- I don't have money. I'm not working right now and I have to depend on my mother. I feel so humilliated. I should be the one helping her. My sister does a lot for us and (god bless her heart but) I hate it. I can't do anything. Not for myself. Not even for my loved ones.
- I'm tired of having one meal a day. It hurts going to sleep with hunger and waking up with it.
- My cat already lost an ear to cancer. She lost and eye too. And she's a pretty young cat (5 years old). Now I've discovered weird marks in the skin around the eye she lost and... I don't know.
- So many things could be resolved with money and... I don't know. I want to cry. What fucking kind of live I'm living? I wish I was dead.
sep 8 2020 ∞
may 31 2021 +