general

• quick summary - a memoir of a young girl (now a woman) who grew up in colonial mozambique, recollecting and remembering the complexities of colonalism and decolonialism during the 1960-1970s, while reflecting on her father's relationship with the native land, its people— and herself.
• key themes - patriarchy, colonialism, girlhood, racism, father-daughter relationships, identity and belonging, memory.

interests

• what i found interesting - I appreciated how vulnerable and raw the memoir was, even though the slightly incestuous tone threw me off a little bit. the exploration of colonialism through the figure of her father (the embodiment of patriarchy) was clever, even if quite obvious. I also enjoyed how critical she was of the colonial power in a country that still denies the wrongness of colonialism despite feeling like the stolen land she grew up in was her home too and how she showed that, as a child, racist ideas were growing in her heart. I feel like a learned a lot about a time before mine through her well-written prose.
• what i learned - I learned a lot of local mozambican terms that I had no idea about.
• fav quote - "não havia olhos inocentes" + "a forma como olhámos para as nossas mãos aos dez anos, e a forma como olhamos para elas, agora, estou a olhar para as minhas mãos agora, não muda. as mesmas mãos. como puderam envelhecer e ser ainda as mesmas? (...) o mesmo pensamento, quando olhamos, com os mesmos olhos, as mesmas mãos."

books it reminded me of

• equador - while this is a poorly book with a white savior narrative, figueiredo's memoir was able to present a description of her memories of colonial times that is both believable and nuanced. the descriptions of the heat and the landscape still reminded me of this one.
• they were her property - before the book itself, there was a reflection by paulina chiziane on how white women are the first victims of colonialism (even before black people). it reminded me of the thesis of this book, and I realized I am more of the opinion of jones-rogers and that we should not infantilize white women and the role they had in the oppression of native people in colonized territories.

further reading

• follow-up context research - I realize that despite my interest in diversifying my reading and learning about my country's horrible past I had only guessed but never really went out of my way to learn about the specificities of the colonial presence in mozambique (or any other territory). I think to complement this reading I should find and read a book written by a black mozambican person around the same time.

rating

• 4.25/5 - this was not an easy read. I was expecting to feel emotional because of the focus on the father figure, but I think, again, that the incestuous tone and the brutality of the language were what made it hard to read. I don't blame her for it, because I think the topic should be addressed with truthfulness, even if some white guilt is felt from reading it. I wished we could have learned more about figueiredo's mother and the role of white women, but the book was not about her. an important read for every portuguese person, especially now in times were fascist tendencies (and everything adjacent) are coming back.