- How to piss off a female: Ask her if it's "that time of the month." This would also be appropriate for "How to piss off Remus Lupin".
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- My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun. Seriously, he told me. I speak parseltongue.
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- Q: Why can’t Snape be a Herbology teacher?
- A: Because he can’t keep the lilies alive.