- tears blur my eyes as i look at the screen of my phone. 1 missed call, 1 voicemail inboxed. mila alexander. my big sister, the one person that put any sort of meaning into my purpose at the apex games. and i missed her call because i was asleep. octavios hands are warm, i would know because one of his hands is placed on my back. it soothingly rubs circles into my skin, but nothing can calm me. quiet cries escape my lips and my shoulders heave, i feel pathetic as tears drip onto the lenses of my glasses and distort my vision entirely. i can hear tavi speaking to me, trying to get through but it will not work. my knees crawl closer to my chest and i want to break down, i want to give up all of a sudden because there is nothing more important than mila. octavio rests his cheek on my shoulder, saying that sometimes when someones phone dies it can randomly call someone. i doubt that. i don't believe him, but i can only appreciate that he's trying. his hands move toward my face, but i know he won't make me look at him, he knows how humiliating this can be for me. when i cry over mila i feel as if i am a small child again, curled up and crying for my big sister. but this is no scraped knee. octavio takes my glasses off and folds them, clutching them in one calloused hand. then he gently takes the phone from me. "do you want to try again?" he asks me gently. i know it's stupid to try but i nod and listen to the first dial tone. when we get to the fourth dial tone i know that it's over. "hey you've reached mila..." i mouth, already knowing this audio. i hang up the phone and octavio sets it to the side, grasping one of my empty palms. he tries his best, i know. but as held as i feel in this room, she will always make me feel like something is missing.
jul 17 2022 ∞
jul 17 2022 +