why do i even try to connect with others when i cannot do my part? i let every relationship fall apart because i don't put any effort. i am lazy. i am uninterested. i am boring. i have no life experience. i've been so sheltered yet so neglected at the same time that no one would ever want to touch me. i am pathetic in so many ways. working a dead-end job and having no purpose in life at all. i pray that God takes me from this purgatory that i have to live everyday. every single day is the same. i feel so pathetic writing this.