You might be a student midwife if...

• You give breastfeeding advice on the phone, in a public place, with no qualms
• You have a full-page list of birth preferences, but you have no plans for children in your immediate future
• You can ask somebody about their bowel movements without blushing
• You carry lube, scissors, and tape with you at all times
• You lose time watching birth videos on YouTube
• You've considered getting a tattoo of a lotus flower
• You can discuss cervixes, uteruses and placentas and still eat lunch at the same time
• There is no such thing as "TMI"
• You haven't slept more than six hours in a row since your last holiday
• Your male friends get jealous about all the breasts you get to see
• Having one standard drink is as exciting as your life gets, because you're on call 24/7 for weeks at a time
• Sometimes it feels like you talk in code, with the amount of acronyms and medical jargon that is now in your vocabulary
• You've cursed having a last name longer than six letters, especially when noting in the partogram every half hour
• The idea of being able to write the letters RM after your last name just seems too exciting for words
• You have strong opinions on when a cord should be clamped
• You have an app on your phone for estimating gestation and delivery date and it contains the info from 5+ women