November 11, 2015

• I've decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. Although I probably won't reach the goal of 50,000 words because I'm starting late, I'm just happy to use that motivation to begin the story that I've been wanting to tell for a majority of this year.
• I watched The Martian. I need to get my hands on a copy of the book ASAP.

November 12, 2015

• I've done everything I can to keep from writing, including reading some of my old WIPs. Maybe tomorrow.

November 13, 2015

• My heart hurts for people everywhere. Paris was hit by multiple terrorist attacks. I couldn't do anything but stare at my Twitter feed in horror as everything began to unfold. All I want to do is hold my loved ones close.

"The world may be broken, but hope is not crazy" -John Green

• The cinematography for Crimson Peak is incredibly gorgeous, but it's not my favorite of Guillermo del Toro's work.

November 14, 2015

• I spent a majority of today rewatching The Office. Still procrastinating. Not even mad about it. I forgot how happy this show makes me.

November 15, 2015

• I was planning on driving an hour and a half on Tuesday to see someone special to me, but they're either too busy or don't care enough to respond. The more time that passes, the more I fear that it's the latter.

November 16, 2015

• All I want to do is sleep. It doesn't matter how much I've already slept, I'm still tired.

November 17, 2015

• It's getting worse. I don't know what to feel, think, or do. I have no control over anything anymore.

November 18, 2015

• Although I already have 4 books started, I need to read something by someone who inspires me. Someone who can help.

November 19, 2015

• Someone helped me realize that I already know how I feel, no matter how much I start to question everything. I'm not going to give up. I may get hurt, but I'm looking at the bigger picture, and I couldn't imagine anything better.

November 20, 2015

• For years, I've wished that I could time travel back to 2005 just to see The Used perform, because they were so different then. While I still listen to them, it's mainly music from their first and second albums. The other day I found out that they'll be in Milwaukee for two nights in May, performing those two albums in full. This couldn't be more perfect. I need to go, even if I have to go alone.
• Tonight was the first snowfall of this winter season. Usually I find such beauty in it, but nothing feels magical anymore.

November 21, 2015

• I'm feeling so completely irritable. I'm not sure, but I think it has to do with the fact that nightmares woke me up again. I've been having more nightmares over the past two months than I've had in my entire life.

November 22, 2015

• My hopes were crushed, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up.

November 23, 2015

• I finally decided to get out, so I drove an hour and a half to see a guy that I had a crush on before I met my last boyfriend. Just a few blocks away from his apartment, my phone died, so I had to turn back to the main road and ask the people at Joann Fabrics if I could charge it there. The fact that I wasn't freaking out at all feels like a huge accomplishment.
• I did not expect to be kissed so shortly after having my heart broken, but it didn't feel wrong, either. Nothing will come of it, nor would I want it to right now, but I'm glad it happened.

November 24, 2015

• I haven't finished a single book in two weeks. I just keep picking new books up and slowly making my way through each of them. Where has my focus gone?

November 25, 2015

• What's the point of telling someone that you want to see them again when you don't? I wouldn't be offended if someone just said "it was nice meeting you" instead. At this point, I'm beginning to think that it's impossible for me to make friends, too.

November 26, 2015

• After falling asleep around 4:30am, I woke up only a half hour later feeling sicker than I have in a long time. Thanksgiving is not the day you want to have stomach issues. I barely had a chance to stuff myself with sweet potatoes. Good news: that means more leftovers.

November 27, 2015

• I finished Drew Barrymore's book of essays from various stages of her life. When I was 7 or 8, I saw Never Been Kissed, and although that wasn't my first Drew movie- I'm pretty sure that was E.T.- she became my favorite actress. If it's even possible, I admire her more now.

November 28, 2015

• The loneliness is beginning to set in. I was happy to begin doing things for myself, focusing on what I enjoy and not worrying about others. Having alone time is nice, but not when you have no other choice.

November 29, 2015

• Today we had a "second Thanksgiving", but with goose instead of turkey. I can't say it's my new favorite.

November 30, 2015

• Sometimes all I want to do is spend time with my friends, but when that time actually comes, I'd rather stay in and read.