- days only lasting from about 11 am or later to sometimes as early as 8:30 at night
- intense desires for ice cream, and walking extensive distances to get it (I should mention that I highly dislike ice cream)
- aimless wandering for hours on end, which are frequently accompanied by strange pondering of future events, including:
- my birthday
- my death
- my life
- my wedding
- my inevitable divorce
- childbirth
- lots of things that will never happen
- re-listening to Fall Out Boy's first album Take This to Your Grave and frequently having songs from it in my head
- sleeping with my head where my feet should be in my bed for no apparent reason
- the only dreams I remember are nightmares in which I'm either being attacked, somebody I know dies, or both
- declining to a privileged, zombie-like state
- complete apathy towards everything, including schoolwork, socialization, and even music
- continual dependence on caffeine, even though it rarely even affects me anymore
- constant communication with people that are no where near my physical location and almost nobody else
- the discovery of my asexuality and apparent social retardation due to it
- complete abandonment of morality
- inescapable existentialism
- helpless romanticism of past relationships
- cabin-fever, even if I'm outside, in the middle of New York City
- anxiety if I dwell on anything that's actually serious for too long
- odd loves for music genres such as noise, sludge, drone and post-punk
- casually vomiting on the side of the road at random points in time
- spending over $2500 in a month on absolutely nothing essential, mostly on things that only add to this decline
apr 6 2010 ∞
jul 15 2010 +
jul 15 2010 +