- I open my eyes
- I smile
- I am not a Mormon
- I've never had a steak thrown at me
- I have .5 Mexican friends
- I don't ride a bike
- I don't have A FUCKING PERM
- I have never once drawn a mythical beast on anything
- I own a cellular phone
- I own a computer
- I own a car
- I don't listen to exclusively 80s music
- I've never tried to learn how to dance (from a VHS tape or otherwise)
- I don't own moon-boots
- I don't live with my grandmother
- I don't even have an older brother
- Even if I've just shaved, I have a 5-o'clock shadow
- I know jack-shit about dairy animals
- I don't have a llama
- Even if I did have a llama, I wouldn't name it Tina
- I swear
- I wear novelty t-shirts because I appreciate their novelty and paid too much for them online, not because my parents bought them in 1986
- I don't have a brown suit
- I have a black suit
may 11 2008 ∞
may 12 2008 +